FAQs

How does therapy work? What exactly happens in therapy?

You may be familiar with the image of a patient on a couch free associating while a therapist nods along silently. While therapy is intended to be a safe space for you to explore and express your concerns, experiences, and feelings; it is also a place where we actively collaborate to identify where you would like to see positive change happen and introduce interventions that might help you meet your goals. We work together to help you relate differently to difficult feelings and thoughts, improve your relationships with others, and make behavioral changes that can help you live a better life.

How often should I come to therapy?

Therapy is most effective when it is consistent. In my clinical experience, a weekly 50 minute session allows us to build momentum toward positive change and meeting your goals. Some clients prefer more frequent sessions when things are challenging and others prefer less frequent sessions. You and I will work together to determine what is most appropriate for you.

How long does therapy take?

There is no one answer to this one. It really depends on your goals and the amount of work you would like to do. Some clients come to therapy with a specific timeframe and goals that they wish to address. Others may wish to do long term, deeper work around their core beliefs and histories or resolve traumas that still feel very present in their lives. You and I will collaborate as a team to ensure that you are making progress. I regularly check in to see if we are meeting your goals and to identify when you are ready to finish therapy. Keep in mind that progress also depends on what happens outside of therapy. We will often consider actions that you can take between sessions to move you forward.

How will I know if therapy is working?

I think there are two important actions to ensure therapy works: setting goals and ongoing collaboration. First, we start in early sessions by identifying your goals and the kinds of change you would like to see. What will you observe that will be different in your life as therapy progresses? Getting clear on measurable outcomes helps ensure that our work is on track. Second, throughout therapy you and I will be working as a team, collaborating on your treatment and checking in to see if things are working and you're seeing positive change. If you feel like things are stuck or not moving, then we collaborate and identify new ways to move you forward.

Is your work based in research?

I believe all therapy is about creating positive change. The good news is that there is a lot of research on how people can improve their relationships, manage anxiety, depression and other issues, and create healthier behaviors in their lives. I think it is important to focus on and utilize what actually works to make positive change happen. My job as a therapist is twofold: to work with you in ways that research shows to be effective, and to constantly innovate by receiving training in the newest research and bringing it to our sessions when it is appropriate.

I've never tried therapy before. Is it weird for a guy to start now?

Not at all. Many of the men I work with are coming to therapy for the first time. There's still a cultural message that men should handle things on their own, but that message isn't serving most of us very well. Starting therapy doesn't mean something is seriously wrong; it means you're ready to stop white-knuckling your life and actually make some changes. My approach is active and collaborative, we're working toward concrete goals, not just talking indefinitely.

I'm managing my anxiety okay on my own. How do I know if I actually need therapy?

If you're high-functioning but feel like you're constantly working to keep things under control, staying busy to avoid slowing down, or noticing that anxiety is quietly affecting your sleep, your relationships, or your performance at work, that's often a sign that managing it isn't the same as actually changing it. Many of the men I work with have done a lot of the right things: psychology podcasts, relaxation breathing, meditation, etc. Therapy helps when those tools aren't enough on their own, and you want to address what's actually driving the anxiety rather than just keeping a lid on it.

Do you specialize in working with men? What does that look like in practice?

Yes, the majority of my clients are men, and working with men is a core focus of my practice. Anxiety in men often looks different: it can show up as irritability, overworking, difficulty relaxing, or a constant low-level sense of dread rather than obvious worry or panic. Men are also more likely to have spent years pushing through rather than addressing what's underneath. In practice, that means I'm direct and goal-oriented, I skip the jargon, and I work to make therapy feel like a productive conversation.

I'm dealing with anxiety that I think might be connected to past trauma. Can therapy address both at once?

Yes, and in my experience they're often deeply connected, anxiety is frequently the surface expression of something older and deeper underneath. I'm a Certified EMDR Therapist and a Level 3 trained IFS therapist, both of which are specifically designed to work with trauma while also addressing how it shows up in your daily life as anxiety, reactivity, or avoidance. We don't have to choose one or the other; the work tends to move between present-day coping skills and the underlying experiences that are fueling things, depending on what's most useful at any given point.

Do you offer online therapy in California? How does that work for anxiety treatment?

Yes, I offer online therapy for clients throughout California, and it's a fully effective format for treating anxiety as well as trauma, relationship issues, etc. Sessions happen over a secure video platform, and the work we do is identical to what I'd do in person. Research supports the effectiveness of online therapy and many clients actually find it easier to open up from a familiar environment. Whether you're in San Francisco or elsewhere in California, we can work together. My in-person office is in San Francisco's Financial District if you prefer meeting face-to-face.

What's the difference between IFS, EMDR, and CBT/ACT for anxiety? Which would you use with me?

These are different tools that work well for different things, and I draw on all of them. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) are skills-based approaches, they help you recognize and change unhelpful thought patterns and build a different relationship with anxiety rather than fighting it. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is particularly effective for trauma and for anxiety that has clear roots in specific past experiences. IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a deeper approach that helps you understand the different parts of yourself that drive anxiety, for example the inner critic, the part of you that is always worrying, or the part that shuts down when things get overwhelming. Which approach we use depends on you, your goals, and what's driving your anxiety. Most of the time we're weaving between approaches rather than sticking rigidly to one.

How is therapy with you different from just talking to a friend or using an app like Headspace?

A good friend and a mindfulness app are both genuinely useful, but they have real limits. A friend can't offer clinical training, objectivity, or structured methods for change; they're also carrying their own stuff, which shapes what they say. Apps like Headspace are good for building awareness and daily habits, but they don't address the underlying reasons anxiety keeps coming back, and they can't adapt to what's actually going on for you. What I offer is a focused, goal-oriented relationship built around your specific situation using evidence-based methods like IFS, EMDR, and ACT that are designed to create lasting change, not just help you cope better in the moment.

I'm looking for a therapist in California who specializes in anxiety in men — how do I find the right fit?

There is a lot of research showing that a good working relationship with a therapist is what contributes to positive change. You need to feel like your therapist gets you and is responsive to your concerns. Also, there are many different types of therapy out there and while all of them can be beneficial, some of them may be a better fit for you than others. I suggest setting up some time to talk to a potential therapist to get an idea of who they are, how they work. and how they might address your concerns. You can then determine if they are a good fit.

How do I get started?

Schedule a free 20 minute video consultation. We will discuss your goals and I can answer any questions you have about how I work or about my practice. If we decide to work together we can schedule a session and I’ll send you an email invitation to complete my online intake paperwork.