Pandemic re-entry anxiety: Some ideas on how to move forward

Image of people walking in public space. Photo by Timon Studler on Unsplash

As I write this, people are getting vaccinated and transmission rates are dropping. The pandemic isn’t over but it seems like things are shifting in a good way. I’m talking to a lot of my clients about this interesting mix of excitement, relief, anxiety, and overwhelm as we all consider what comes next.

Anxiety makes sense right now

There are some people who are shifting back into the life that they had before with some amount of ease. But for many of us, myself included, as things reopen there is some hesitancy to act, as well as excitement about what lies ahead.

All of this makes sense right now. While the past year has been extraordinarily stressful for all, it also meant that we walked away from many of our routine interactions. There can be a certain awkwardness to reengaging in ways that have been problematic for the last year. Hugging, meeting people maskless, or even meeting indoors can feel very strange. From tiny interactions like how close you stand by someone in a public space to more complex interactions like planning a holiday visit to see family, everything outside of the lockdown routine can feel like something to relearn and renegotiate.

In addition, you may feel like your social skills are off. It’s been so long since you’ve sat at dinner with a friend or been in a workspace. You may not have had social anxiety before, but you might be experiencing it now. Social anxiety shows up when we aren’t feeling socially skillful and are concerned about how we will be perceived by others in social situations. If you’re feeling out of practice, you might be getting anxious around this.

For some, lockdown has meant a reason to stop engaging in activities that might have been problematic in the past. Now that business and events are restarting, you may now notice ambivalence around re-engaging in activities that you aren’t sure were all that great for you in the first place. As people start making plans, you might not be so sure that automatically starting back where you left off it the best idea. Anxiety might pop here as well.

And of course, we will all have some health related anxiety for the foreseeable future. While public health officials are providing guidelines, your personal comfort level may not match the guidelines. It may be a while before you don’t experience some amount of vigilance around your health.

All of these possibilities can lead to anxiety.

Start with some problem solving

When you experience anxiety, it typically is a signal that a problem lies ahead. Anxiety is prompting you to problem solve so that things go OK in the future.

And we do need to do some problem solving right now. How do we keep ourselves healthy? What are safe activities? How do we want to interact with others?

So consider what solvable problems you face in the weeks and months to come. If you aren’t sure about what feels safe and risky then problem solve by getting informed about guidelines and the latest research. If you feel unsure about your social skills, do some research into how to make conversations go easier. If you know that you want to plan a trip to see family, problem solve by finding airfare prices, possible dates, etc.

But, what if you problem solve and still notice anxiety? After a year of forced avoidance, it can be hard to shift in a different direction. This is a good time to check in with your values.

Your values can give you a framework for how you want this year to go

If you’re finding it difficult to re-engage, then consider taking a moment to see where your life is at this point in the pandemic and where you’d like to see it go.

Your values are the direction you want for your life. When you live your life according to your values, it feels rich and meaningful. What’s interesting is that values don’t change over time, or even in a pandemic. In many ways, what is changing are the opportunities that are available for you to live your values. (read more about values)

So, as things open up, as opportunities present themselves that you can engage in, what matters to you? What would be most meaningful to you right now and in upcoming months?

What’s interesting is that a year of not being able to do a lot may also have helped you get clear on your values. You may be realizing that you don’t want to take for granted some of the things you weren’t able to engage in over the past year. On the other hand you may see where significant quantities of your time was spent engaging in stuff that really doesn’t matter at all.

Here’s an easy way to start getting clear on what matters.

Values show up in every aspect of your life. Pick an area of your life that you feel needs attention - your work, your relationships, your health, your family life, etc.

When you consider the next three months, six months or year, what comes up for you? What would you like to see more of? What would you like to see less of?

Don’t consider actions you can take yet. Instead, consider what would be signposts that your life was moving in the right direction. Here are some examples of values:

I want to be more connected to others. I want to spend more time with people I care about. I’m OK with fewer friendships but I want the ones I have to be deeper.

It’s important that my work is focused on helping others.

My health is valuable to me and I make choices that support this.

There are lots of values out there and everyone is unique in what matters to them. But getting clear on the direction you see for your life can help guide the decisions you make in the near future.

Choose actions that line up with what really matters: your values.

Now is a great time to consider what you want to see more of and what you want to see less of in your life. You can spend some time committing to actions that will move your life forward. It could be broad directions like spending more time with friends or taking a trip home to see family now that you’re vaccinated. It could be spending less time in bars or less time shopping online.

Actions can be small or big. You might want to completely reinvent yourself or just start some small new routine. But consider what actions move you in the direction of a rich and meaningful life. What actions would make you feel like your life was moving forward?

And, finally, what would you be willing to experience to have the life you want?

Most importantly, moving your life forward will mean getting in contact with some of the discomfort and anxiety you may be experiencing. It will feel awkward to reengage in social situations. It might cause anxiety to hold clear boundaries with others that keep you physically healthy. It will likely feel uncomfortable to say no to things that are no longer working for you and that you want to leave behind.

If you would be willing to have the feelings of anxiety, ambivalence, awkwardness, and whatever else you might be feeling right now, what actions would move you forward? What would you be willing to have to live the life that you want?