Coping with Pandemic Fatigue

Image of people participating in a yoga class in a park

As I write this the US is experiencing a third wave of out of control COVID infections. Here in California we are moving back to locking down many of the things that had just started to open up again.

For the last nine months life has looked very different and will continue to be different for the foreseeable future. What you took for granted before and relied on may not available to you and some things might never return.

How do we survive this? And how do we adapt? Is it possible that we could even thrive at this time? The answer is yes - it is possible to take some control and create a life that feels meaningful. Here are some thoughts on how to make this happen, even during a pandemic.

Radical acceptance

First, create some radical acceptance of your reality. Radical acceptance was popularized by Tara Brach and is also an important focus of therapy.

What is radical acceptance? It is moving toward accepting things as they actually are, even if you do not agree with them, do not want them, and wish they would go away. It means accepting things as they are completely with your whole being. It is acknowledging that there is much that is out of your control in the situation at hand and that resisting the situation as it is is causing more pain and distress on top of what is already a challenging experience. 

You don’t have to radically accept everything at once but you can create some acceptance in manageable chunks. Pick an area where you are struggling. For example, you may find yourself really challenged as you consider that places and events like restaurants, bars, and concerts that you enjoyed pre-COVID are not currently available to you. Can you create a small amount of acceptance around the fact that these things aren’t available? You can start by acknowledging that you are struggling to accept this reality and that it cannot be changed right now.

What would acceptance look like for you? It could be about identifying other actions you can engage in instead of complaining about the situation. It could be a simple breathing exercise to relax into the moment at hand. It could be choosing to shift your attention to something else, like taking a moment to be grateful for what is available to you.

Acceptance is not the same as resignation or agreement - you may wish things were different right now but they aren’t. You might work hard to continue to make changes happen to your situation. And, if you could radically accept what is, what would your life be like if you weren’t struggling so much about this? 

Get clear on your values

A key component to adapting and thriving during a challenging time like a pandemic is getting clear on your values. What actually matters to you? What makes your life meaningful?

Your values don’t change over time. What matters to you now is likely to matter to you in 10 years. Knowing this, it can be helpful to consider that even while living in a situation that you do not like or wish were different, is there any space or possibility of living in ways that your life feels meaningful? What would allow you to experience life in a meaningful way, even with the limits you are encountering? How can you still live your values during a pandemic? While it is easy to get caught up in what isn’t available to you (see radical acceptance above) there are choices you can make in your current situation that would feel like your life is moving in the right direction.

Focus on routines and self-care

Self-care gets a lot of press these days and I think it is important to keep it in focus, especially during a pandemic. Why? Because in 2020, even if you had a good day at work, got along with family members, made a healthy dinner, and got enough sleep, you are still dealing with the stress of a pandemic. It takes a toll on your nervous system. Identifying ways to counter this stress is important. It is important to consider what self-care would be most helpful now, nine months into this pandemic. What was helpful back in March might not be as useful now. Perhaps you need to add some new kinds of self-care to continue coping with this pandemic for the foreseeable future. 

In a similar vein, creating routines is a great way to add self-care, as well as a sense of control, during a time where things are very stressful and not much feels in your control. Routines around starting your day, transitioning from personal time to work time (especially if you’re working at home) and other parts of your life all help you feel a sense of control.

Build inner resources

At this point, you might find yourself a little zoomed-out. Maybe you’re experiencing Netflix fatigue. And yet, we have a ways to go with this experience we’re living through. Early on in the pandemic I saw a lot of social media that spoke of using this time as an opportunity to slow down, look inward and focus on things that you may have overlooked before. I think this is still an area worthy of consideration. Cultivating internal resources and looking inward can build resilience to help sustain you during this stressful time and also provide more balance when life returns to normal. 

What does this look like? For some it is exploration and engagement in their religion and/or spirituality. For others, it is building a meditation practice, or reading books and learning new skills. Building a gratitude practice or spending time savoring the good things in your life - the beauty, healthy relationships, funny moments, etc. can help strengthen your internal resources for dealing with reality as it is. Ultimately, it is about intentionally shifting your focus to what is good and positive in your life so that you can handle the hard stuff.

Remember that everything changes. 

There is wisdom in the experience of our elders and from many religious and spiritual traditions. Everything changes. Nothing lasts. This too shall pass. Our minds aren’t wired to easily connect with this. We often focus on how much we are struggling, how difficult things are right now. It is normal to have to take a small mental leap to remind ourselves that things continue to evolve and change. It can be helpful to create a reminder of this - to introduce this thought into our minds as a way of shifting from black and white thinking that we will always feel this way, that things will always be like this. 

As I write this in month nine of the pandemic, I have no idea when this post will become obsolete. Learning to cope is an ongoing process and one that won’t be perfect. Cultivating some acceptance and getting clear on your values, as well as building some self care, routines and positive resources can all help support you during this time and help you adapt rather than react.